I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
