My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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