yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
