That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
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My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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