Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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