he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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