do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
