It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
