life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
