So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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