So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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