I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
