Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
