How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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