ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize