In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
