dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
