I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
