I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
