Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
