Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
