How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
