Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
