You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
