So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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