Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
