the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
