I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
