for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
