i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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