i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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