We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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