Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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