He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
