So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
