The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize