I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
