Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
