I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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