I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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