Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
