I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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