so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
