Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
