well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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