it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize