so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
