I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
