so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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