i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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