My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i drank out of a bidet.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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