you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
