My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
