I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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