Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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