Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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