Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
