it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
