If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
