Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
