Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
