Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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