I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
