...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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